Fear, Hope, and death.

I have not slept for a couple of nights.

Andd not because of parties.

I have been too afraid to. At twenty years old I am suddenly afraid of the dark. I cannot move, I find myself crying. All of this arose after I saved my brothers life the other night.

He is a insulin dependent diabetic, a couple nights ago he worked out and went to bed. Not realizing that he had given himself some insulin which now because of the exercise would be drastically more potent. Around this same time I was up playing guitar and watching television. Getting ready for bed. Thank God I had a small dinner because I came out of my room and got a snack. Since I was up I heard my brothers bed squeaking. He was dying. His blood sugar had sunk to a level that his body was failing on him. His brain in distress was having a seizure.

I opened the door to his room, he looked at me. With eyes filled with fear he tried to say help. As he did this his jaw clamped shut his eyes rolled to the back of his head and blood poured out of his mouth. I yelled so loudly I felt something pulled out of place in my throat. My mom and I administered an emergency hormone shot which temporally releases sugar from the liver and he was conscious enough to get some food in his system.

I saved his life, he tells me this every time a relative calls to speak to him about his hospital stay.

These words fill me with utter fear. I am so horrified of his mortality. I cannot sleep.

After going to confession today and speaking with a priest at my Catholic church, I felt hope. The fear vanished for a while and I got to thinking about fear and hope.

These two emotions are constant they stay with us until the day we die. Emotions are like being wet. There is a degree of wetness, as well as many many many different conotations, and implications which come from being wet and or having an emotion. But fear and hope are some of the most primal and early developed emotions, along with joy.

This year I have heard fear and hope brought up during all aspects of my life. Politics obviously, religion, family, all my hobbies, and yes you guessed it during discussions of music.

Why? because I believe these two emotions strike the spirit not the heart of a person. Fear and hope set the tone of all our sadness and happiness in life. Imagine eating a cup cake if you had no hope of ever eating one again? Or eating the same cup cake if you had a fear of cup cakes? The happiness/sadness that arose from the first example would be intensified, while the happiness/sadness which arises from the second would be numb by the fear which is overtaking the spirit and mind.

Hope is reassurance of action, while fear is a call to action.

I have hope so I can continue to live my life. While fear freezes me until I have reached a point to decide on an action.

Sadly my hope is vanishing with each minute. Now it is dark. I am afraid.

I wonder what action should I take?

Blink 182 Oppinions wanted!!!

After long consideration I'm not sure which song to learn...So it's down between these two songs both by Blink 182.

First this one




and this one Always, I already know I Miss You





Soooo what song guys??? I'm not sure :/

Not music but Hilarious

The can omg omg omg omg omg



Big mac rap lmao



Funiest one

Great how to video

This is an example of a great how to video. The reasons why I like this one are, one because he goes slowly in logical parts, two the video is of good enough quality so that viewers can make out what he is doing with his hands, and lastly hes not full of himself. He really has a humble approach to teaching. It appears to me that he is not doing this to pat himself up on the back, but rather, he seems like he genuinely is doing the video to teach..

Taught by Youtube

Andrew Keen, holds that we learn bad info from the web. He says that the web is corrupting our minds with inaccurate knowledge posted by amateurs.

Like all overbearing statements, this is one which does not hold true. But it does have some validity to it. There are people who know nothing, and posted on subjects with faulty information.

However, I am an avid youtube user. My main reason for using youtube is to learn new techniques and or songs.

I think Andrew Keen overlooked something that is vital for the learning process. That is peer instruction. There are certain aspects of learning, such as guitar skill mastery. Which need peers in order to be achieved. It is the multiple permutations of method, the countless ways to achieve one thing, which cannot be learned without peers.

When I look up a cover, i'm not looking for entertainment, or having the song played perfectly by a master guitarist. I am looking to see how a peer solved the same problem which I am facing. Hoping that by seeing their solution I will learn some tid bits of clues as to how to do this my self.

I think youtube is a valuable learning tool. If we break it down, people don't always learn in the same ways. Some learn by hearing, some by practice, others by theory, and lastly some by visual example. Youtube provides with three of those different ways of learning.

In conclusion, youtube is not a textbook, but it helps people to learn in ways textbooks cannot.

Some more guitar terms :PP

Rage.

Andrew Keen is an author, I hate his views. His book "The Cult Of The Amateur" infuriates me to a irate rage. In his book he bashes amateur musicians amongst many others. Today, as I happily checked out some new songs to learn, I was disturbed to find that he actually persuaded me into agreeing with him. Maybe he was right. Maybe one of these guys should NEVVERRRR EEVERRR TOUCH A GUITAR AGAIN. If he does, I hope his computer breaks and he won't be able to post his vid.

wOW!!!! So much HaTe..I know..don't lose faith in me yet guys...watch these two guitar covers, and compare the quality. One, I consider art. The other, well it's horrible trash. Sadly youtube is flooooooded with this type of crap. But maybe i'm being to harsh. What do you guys think?





I'm so sorry you had to watch the second one. Dios mio!!!! Why is he shirtless????
I am open minded, I understand better than most that when home it should be okay to be shirtless. Hell if your home you should be able to walk around naked. But, if you are gonna put up a video of yourself. Keep some sort of self respect.

Moving on to the music, why did he put up this video? Seriously, I don't know. Was he showing skill? Some sort of new way of playing this song? Did he even play the song!??? I'm not sure that counts as him playing the song!!!

Here we have on the first video, a unpopular bands song. Being rendered artistically. Then we have a flipping Guns & Roses song being destroyed by amateurism.

I hate to say it, sometimes its best to keep the amateurs out. This is why people hate NOOBs. That guy is a NooB. He is the definition of a NoObbbb. Noobs ruin anything for everyone every time.

Example of Hip Hop

After reading the Tupac post by Menace, I decided to put these up. I think this is a great example of hip hop rhyme scheme, subject matter, ect.

By Jay-Z

Said it ain't where you from yo it's where you at
Real niggaz out in Brooklyn, some niggaz don't clap
It's real killers out in Cali, some niggaz just act
Hollywood like they out the hood, it's all to the good
Real players in the D-Twa, some of them throwed
Slackin on they mackin, rest haven for hoes
Real pranksters in the Chi, most of them real folks
Disciplined Gangsters, come on Charlie I know
Shit it ain't about your city or borough
It's bout if you really as thorough
And if you are, holla at your boy
I put my hand on my heart, that means I feel you
Real recognize real and you lookin familiar

My Painting WIP

As well as playing instruments, and being a music junky, I paint. I noticed that if I do not listen to the same songs, or hear a different type of genre the painting changes accordingly. Weird huh?

I'm Deciding what to name the painting, here are the songs I listen to while painting:

Na de Na

American Woman

Sex on Fire

Animals

Brown Eyed Girl

Bad Girlfriend

Noche de Sexo

Slide

Angeles

Any ideas?

F**k**g change the station!!

Music plays a huge role in our life. We have appropriate songs for everything. EVERY flipping time we hear a song something pops into our heads. Even when we hear something for the first time, our brain immediately jumps to "hey what does that sound like?".

Today I did something unfathomable, crazy kOo KoO, and completely out of character. I drove home with the music in my car OFF.

Why?

Because music is so strong. In fact too strong. My anxiety is so that I cannot hear any music because, frankly there are way to many emotions running through my head. The last thing I need to put my heart on shuffle and experience more.(Right now I am waiting to find out whether, the girl of my dreams. The one that has been my best friend for two years. Will accept me as her boyfriend.)

For all you dudes out there. Don't judge, I get more chicks than most. She is just special. For all you girls out there, why is this such a hard thing to decide? I mean why not give a simple ok or no? I mean, I am sitting here dying inside, having no clue what to expect. Also the fact that shes taking so long makes me think the worst.

But let's get back to music. I know music.

Music, is precious, its perfect, it is potent. Nothing like music exists in our world. When an artist takes a brush and paints bright red streaks across his whole canvas. We as observers get a clue that he is in distress from strong emotion. But we do not understand if it is love, agony, anger, distress or what tone to take this emotion depicted as. But when I slam out some solos on my guitar. It is Magical! All of a sudden, I convey with no words, exactly how I feel at that moment. Not only that, but also, anyone hearing my music FEELS it as well.

Music also has an emotion unique to it. There is no word to properly describe this feeling alone. If I had to choose one word for this term it would be ROCK.But really c'mon! Rock??

It is not like a rock at all, certainly it is hard, but not material, rock is everywhere, but not in the ground. This has to be explained in more than just one word.

The emotion of rock, is that emotion, which inspires the listener to express to others that he or she passionately enjoys the sound which they are listening to. Rock is a wave of energy ripping through a crowded concert. A force so strong that it pushes immediate physical reactions to occur. \nn/ (*&^)\nn/ Right away anyone seeing this expression will feel happiness and say "yeah rock on". It is an emotion which no one ever feels jealousy for. Because as soon as one person feels it, it acts like a yawn, pretty soon all others remember what rocking feels like or they rock themselves.

I wish girls were more like music, and that with enough practice I could figure them out. And DAM what a world would it be if all emotions were like rock!?!

Love songs?

My buddies are always ragging on me because all I ever want to play are love songs. More than that, the only song I have ever written is for a girl, and she probably could care less.

Why so romantic? what's manly about that? You can't rock to a soft subject like love? They drone on and on. Well I frankly don't care, my life is my own. My art my own, love is just really hard for me to understand. The problem with love is that it is always different, slightly as it may be, every time, and from person to person.

It's comforting to me, to play a song. Someone else wrote and hear thoughts I've had as well. It makes it seem like, maybe there is some method to this madness. That there is a way to make love work.

I'm not wimpy, or depressed, and I listen to angry or happy fast music all the time. But something about picking up a guitar brings out the emotional soft side of me. I think the shock from my friends is because it is against my character. I am loud, obnoxious, outgoing, and have a very manly sort of personality.

So who says I can't rock out to Sixpence None the Richer?? or The Goo Goo Dolls?


\nn/ (^&^) \nn/

Apologia

I am sorry it took me this long to post a new update. Things came up over v-day weekend and so forth.

Actually, I have seen this type of statement on many blogs and often wondered why apologize at all? I guess the answer is, people forget that these blogs are run by real people with a life, jobs, school, girlfriends ect. There are other things which come first when it comes to priorities.

I find these make shift apologies humorous because often they are not. Really most are not like an apology, but more like a angry letter back to all readers, saying "shut up" when they ask when an update is to come.

Actually most of these apologies, are filled with sarcasm. Most of these apologies, are composed of short snappy sentences. Most of these apologies, contain angry diction. Most of these apologies, lack Sincerity. Few of these apologies, are in fact apologies.

But no, really I'm sorry.

One of my Favorite songs From one of my Favorite Movies

This song was originally written by Jackson Browne, his version is slowish and more heart felt. This version is sung by Nico an artist which was from velvet underground the band put together by Andy Wharhol. I like better as far as the guitar part because it is faster. But I am not in love with her voice, it's deep and doesn't fit with the music as well as Browne's does.

On Passion.

Often when we musicians describe our interest in music or an instrument we say "it is my passion", but this is taken lightly and I feel that the meat of the meaning is lost. The Merrian-Webster online dictionary defines passion as:

"Main Entry: pas•sion Pronunciation: \ˈpa-shən\ Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin passion-, passio suffering, being acted upon, from Latin pati to suffer — more at patient Date: 13th century 1often capitalized a: the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death b: an oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion 2obsolete : suffering 3: the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces 4 a (1): emotion (2)plural : the emotions as distinguished from reason b: intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction c: an outbreak of anger 5 a: ardent affection : love b: a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c: sexual desire d: an object of desire or deep interest — pas•sion•less \-ləs\ adjective synonyms passion , fervor , ardor , enthusiasm , zeal mean intense emotion compelling action. passion applies to an emotion that is deeply stirring or ungovernable . fervor implies a warm and steady emotion . ardor suggests warm and excited feeling likely to be fitful or short-lived . enthusiasm applies to lively or eager interest in or admiration for a proposal, cause, or activity . zeal implies energetic and unflagging pursuit of an aim or devotion to a cause . synonyms see in addition feeling"

There is a unique flavor of pride which arises whenever a human views an inanimate object as an extension of himself. It seems to me that, men seem to be more inclined to perform this action. I think maybe it is because women are often much more social beings than men. They are gifted in their ability to express thought and emotion to others. Women can relate without the need for this physical real life metaphor, which occurs when an object takes over as the image of a man's self.

Then again this cannot simply be reason since; I often wonder what it is that makes a group of guys gleefully admire a car, motorcycle, or a guitar. Not all of them have resorted to identify their selves with the same object. In my case, it is not so much the actual car but the emotional footnotes which come attached with it. These are all the connotations, memories, wants, wishes, and everything else that are brought up by the contemplation of the item. When these are positive then we take great pride in our possessions. They become much more valuable to us than the raw metals, wood, and other materials which make up the object of our pride.

There is a sort of sadistic love which occurs along with this pride. We slave over a car part cleaning it, trimming any excess, till we are satisfied. In the process we bleed, we sweat, and are drained of all energy. All of this taking place in a moldy, stagnant, humid, inhospitable garage. I feel like all of the hardships add spice to the flavor of this pride. Men, relish in the glory of the accomplishment. But even more when we have battle scars to show for our progress.

This pride, this narcissistic, sadistic, manly pride is something i have come to know as a musician. Something i have come to share with others as a man. That is why any man who has a hobby which causes some sort of conflict and represents him in some way identifies with all men who also fit that description, no matter if they share a different passion.

First video post

A follow up to my first blog post dealing with music, intellectual property, and all the issues which arise from it. I know my guitar skillz are not the best so forgive the amateurism. I hope you enjoy,and hopefully this will help you see this issue from a musician's point of view. Please comment. No really...leave comment now :)

Every musician should watch this. This video deals with a particular six second clip of a drum beat from a song written decades ago, which is still very much in use today. Also it presents an thought provoking dilemma, what is originality? In art where every piece has either reality or another work as inspiration, how do we as artist claim authorship of our works? Does this right of authorship encompass keeping complete and exclusive rights to its use?

I'm not sure, I know as a artist that every piece of work one makes is a piece of an artist mind and self. To think that anyone else can just take that, which is part of me and claim it, drives my blood to boil. But then again as an artist I know that everything is fair game and inspiration should not be ignored for it is rare. Further more when most of these ownership uses surface is when a third party which has an economical interest in the artist work takes some sort of legal action.

This irritates me since big business should, always, as a rule of thumb keep its disgusting dirty clutches the hell away from art. For whenever art is capitalized on it loses all value. For art is a reflection of humanity, human nature, soul, emotion, and most of all human individuality. So to mass produce it kills the essence and the art itself.

"Here we go, a one, a one, two, three, FOUR!" How many times have we heard that, even if a person cannot play one note or has ever even seen a real instrument, everyone all over the world knows this phrase. In fact every famous musical Icon who ever played at any epic concert heard or uttered these same words or something like it. So with this i find it appropriate that i begin my Blog with these words as a tribute to those who are my betters and predecessors.

We, as a country have several specific common denominators if you will. These shared commonalities enable me as an American to identify with everyone else on this same level. Musicians how ever are not so uniform. I plan on making a blog dealing with music, I realized that I must isolate that common denominator that all musicians can identify with, so that my blog will be somewhat successful and is assimilated into the music blog community. If people can identify with what i am blogging about in regards to music then they will listen to what i have to say. So I will definitely run away from any trends in my posts that exhibit a preference to one particular genre of music.

For me this is not hard, I have been surrounded by so many different genres of music that I can't label my self. My own music has influences from Latin American salsa, Beatles, Smashing pumpkins, euro dance, AND ALMOST ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING *.

America is a diverse multi-stratified nation. There are so many cultural layers in our country that it one could argue that it has engulfed the rest of the worlds people in one nation. My blog will deal with music in the way American culture has evolved to deal with so many different people. My focus reflects on this since I will blog on the Nation of Music not on the particular genres or subcultures which make up the larger nation. The essence of music culture being my, and our common denominator. The guitar is the instrument that best encompases this essence since it is the most widely used instrument in contemporary culture.

Enjoy-
Belsarius
Repettion Sign*